Wa waaaaaaa
I woke up to the sound of a baby crying. I looked at the clock. 1:00AM. If this was one of my friends, playing a prank on me, I would never forgive them. So I shouted, “Ben! You better not have done this! I will get you for this prank!” I stopped, waiting for a reply like “I’m sorry Charlie!” (Charlie was a short nickname for Charlotte he made for me) or “My bad, it was just a joke!” But, silence answered me and then the baby’s crying got even louder. Startled, – mostly because I didn’t expect it – I got out of bed, thinking to myself, “Who would leave a baby outside my porch?” Grumbling, I went down the stairs slowly, careful not to wake up the dogs, even though, on second thought, they probably were. When I got to the bottom, I found that someone had left a baby at my door. I completely froze up. Should I abandon it and just go back to bed? or Should I get the baby inside? These questions echoed in my brain, I thought about this for a few minutes before deciding to bring “it” in. Once I got “it” inside, I put it on the couch and watched it look at me intently. I stared back. This went on for what felt like millions of years. Then “it” said “Momma,” in the sweetest and softest voice I’ve ever heard. I looked at its small blue, ocean eyes..
It didn’t feel like so long ago when we went out to the beach. All four of us. Together. A family. And the last time we would really be a family.
My dad was the one who thought that going to the beach would be the perfect thing to start the summer. We all agreed and began packing sandwiches, beach balls, and on and on. I still remember my older brother saying, “This is going to be the best day ever!” but little did we know that that day was gonna be the day our family split apart.
We were eating our sandwiches when the policemen came.
Our parents froze, as if someone had shot them with a freeze ray.
The policemen said, “Hello. We are here to arrest Mr. and Mrs. Windress for breaking into the bank last Thursday, June 28, 2025.” My brother froze with a mouthful of sandwich still in his mouth. As he snapped back into reality, he finished his bite of his half-eaten sandwich and turned to the policemen.
“Excuse me? My parents would never do such a thing. I know them. I. Live. With. Them.” He purposely stretched out that part. I just sat there watching the scene.
“Well, if you would like we have video tapes and clips if you would like to see,” the policemen replied. My brother stood up while my mom tried to sit him back up.
“Stop. I’m so sorry my love. But it’s.. true. I-I-I know there’s no excuse for what we did…but-but-but but your father and I had to rob the bank, it was the only way to pay th-the..” She hesitated, not even bothering to finish. I could tell my brother was on the verge of crying. His eyes and the corners of his mouth would droop. I just didn’t do anything. My mom’s eyes looked at me, making me feel sympathetic for her, but I couldn’t. I wanted to, but at the same time they could have just told us. So I said so. My dad looked at – this was the first time that I’ve seen my dad like this (so sad, looking lonely, and depressed) – me, and said, “Well, th-th-they told us not to..” I looked at him, trying to believe or understand.. But they never told us. Even though they – whoever they are – told them not to. But I remained silent, unamused and empty-hearted.
I watched the policemen handcuff them and bring them away. I wanted to tell them that I still loved them. But I didn’t. With my aching heart I turned to my brother. He looked back at me and said, “Let’s go home.” Since my brother was still learning how to drive, he didn’t have a legal permit. For that reason, we packed up and walked home. At home my brother said, “I can’t do this anymore,” I looked at him, tilting my head, confused. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I can’t .. like do you still love mom and dad even though.. they did all this but just didn’t plan to tell us?” I looked at him and even though I knew that defending them was the right thing to do, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I shook my head. “I’m gonna go and never come back.” His shoulders trembled as he said this.
“I’m sorry sis, I want to stay. But I would rather live with Jake’s family or something..” His voice trailed off as he raised his face to look at me.
“Ok.” I watched as he packed a bit of clothes, his tooth brush, and his favorite blanket. I didn’t stop him, as I should have. I stood out of his way as he made his way out, but then I quickly yelled, “Wait!” He turned around, his packed duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “I love you.” He looked at me and said “You’re such a baby.” Then he smiled and went down the driveway but then stopped and turned around. His eyes whispered I will always love you and good luck with life.
I smiled then closed the door and sat on the couch.. waiting for the day when our family could be together and happy.
“Momma.” I finally came to be aware of my surroundings. I looked back at the baby and realized there was a note attached to the basket in which the baby was in. I picked it up it read,
Hey sis,
How are you? I’m doing well.
It’s been so long, being back in the neighborhood.
I wish I could stop by and say hi but I can’t.
I’m married now! Surprising, huh?
Well, the baby in front of you is ours.
We’re not able to feed her.. we were bankrupted (our business)
I’m putting her in your hands.
When we’re back on track and able to properly feed her and such,
I will come back. I miss you,
Jonah (and Jess)
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I rubbed them just to make sure they were working well. My brother who was now 30 was married and had a baby, and she was now placed into my care. I looked into those blue, ocean eyes. Those ocean eyes symbolized the time I would spend with her, how vast the ocean is; how much time we would be able to spend with each other. And I knew the perfect name.
Carrie.
My mother once said, “Charlotte, you have to promise me something.” “What’s the promise?” “Promise me, you will name your daughter, if you have one, after me.” I promised but at the same time, I was confused. “Well, why?” My mom chuckled, “Well, to honor my legacy and to make sure.. that family is forever. It’s always forever. No matter what.” I nodded, not clearly understanding what she meant. But felt honored for her to have asked me to name my daughter after her.
Now I understand. Family is forever. Even if half your family is in prison and another is having trouble. We will always be together in mind and heart.
10 years later
It’s been 9 years now of me caring for Carrie. Its gonna be her birthday soon, in a couple days. It’s so funny how I’ve become her mom but not biologically. It’s felt so… real. I’ve sent her to pre-school, seen her go through the doors, quickly making friends. I’ve been with her for what feels like thousands of years. We’ve grown so close. But there’s something in my heart that does ache.
Every night, after I tuck in Carrie and say goodnight, I go to my bedroom. And just lay there on my bed looking up at the ceiling, praying that tomorrow was the day my brother would come back.
Carrie is now 10. She was so excited to finally turn two digits. I let her invite her friends over for a house-party. I couldn’t stop looking at her. Her unwavering smile, her small dimple on her cheek, her little bent eyebrow… so much like Jonah. Whenever I need him, whenever I miss him, I look at Carrie. I make sure to tell her I love her everyday, she may not think much about it, but she’ll know when she’s older; how simple but how meaningful those words are.
