“You’re adopted.”

I’ve heard it once and it’ll never get out of my head.

I’m the middle child, and the child that is looked down on. Gavin is the oldest child. He’s the star athlete; the quarterback of his football team and is wanted by every girl in the school. He’s popular, handsome, and just perfect. My sister, Bella, is 18 and is the family’s princess. Everyone adores her, after all, she’s pretty, smart, and just as athletic as Gavin. I’m the youngest and try not to attract attention.

It all crumbled down when mom got sick. Like sick-sick. Not the type of sick where you cough and maybe throw up, the type where you start shivering, when you start bleeding all of a sudden, and when you just randomly lose weight. Mom was sweating or shivering and kept getting paler. After 2 days, Dad decides we should take her to the hospital. Gavin looks as me and I know why. I have a fear of hospitals. Its not like I think its creepy or anything but it seems so.. sick. But I swallow my emotion away and follow the rest of the family out.

The doctors and nurses run a lot of tests on mom and she ends up being diagnosed with leukemia. I feel all the color drain from my face. I look at the others. Mom barely shows any emotion and dad looks like he’s been slapped across the face. Bella’s mouth is covered with her tiny hands, her eyes bulging out of her face, scared. Gavin’s face just shows it all. For a couple minutes, no one says anything, silent except for the machines beeping and nurses running down the hallway outside. Then dad says, “What do we do?” The doctor and dad go out to talk alone. Just us and Mom. She looks at us, one at a time. Her gaze softens when she gets to me. She  beckons for us to sit next to her. “I love you guys.”

I love you too, mom. 

10 years later..

     10 years, each faster than the last. And its been nine years since mom died. Gavin’s married and are expecting his first child soon, Bella is engaged. And I’m growing my own company while still going to college. I haven’t spoken to dad in a long time, I see his during family gatherings but we don’t have our own time together. Once mom died, dad broke down for months. But once he got back on track, he started smiling and laughing again. It’s nice to know that, even though he’s not my real dad, he’s doing ok and finding his place in life again.

I got the call two days ago from dad. He said he was going to finally organize mom’s stuff but he needed help. Gavin and Bella already agreed to come but would have to leave early. I immediately agreed.

The house is just the same as before. The lamp which my mom hated and the refrigerator with our old school papers, whenever we got a perfect score and of course a vase filled with my mom’s favorite flower, Lilies. By the time I get there, everyone is there. No one bothers to say hi or even ask how I’m doing. Instead we quietly shuffle down the hallway to mom’s room. Inside, everything is in place, everything in its neat and organized way mom liked. We separate into the 4 corners. Dad goes with the shelf, Gavin with the photo albums from decades ago, Bella goes with the clothes, and I go with boxes. Everything is labeled so carefully in her beautiful script. Toys, Newspaper from 1997, Wedding photos and videos.. Something catches my eye, the farthest box, hidden deep, almost like mom wanted it to be hidden. I plan to ignore it for now until Gavin and Bella leave, maybe then I can see what its in it. Within the first hour, we have everything sorted into three piles – donate, keep, throw out. There’s a lot of things in our donate pile. Starting from antique photo frames to clothes. I want to yell at them, to tell them that we should them, in memory of mom. But I stay silent. Soon, Gavin and Bella leave. I don’t really say a goodbye and they don’t ask for one. Dad says he’s gonna pick up some lunch but he doesn’t say anything about getting mine. But I’m glad there’s something so that Dad can go out of the house. As soon as the door clicks shut I dig my hand deep into the huddles of boxes and find it. The Truth. I open it and blow off the dust. Inside there’s a diary with papers sticking out. I open it and go on Mom’s bed. I’m horrified at what I find. The last 14 years of my life… was a lie. Everything. Every word. Every comment of me being adopted. The first piece of paper are DNA and adoption papers. I’m not the adopted one. Gavin and Bella were. I start crying. Mostly because I’m sad Mom never told me and said because I always thought I was the different one. I thought I was the adopted one, never had I thought of it as the opposite. Creekkkk The front door opens. I don’t bother to hide the tears and everything inside the diary. Dad comes inside and sees me. The color drains from his face. His face, white like a ghost.

“You weren’t supposed to ever know..” his words fumbling at the end. I look at him as I say this, “You treated me like a foster child, while you made Gavin and Bella think that they were the real children. I lived in their shadows, and you never said anything.” Dad sighs and he looks like he’s about to cry; the way his mouth is trembling and his eyes quivering.

“Your mom and I tried for a kid for years. We tried .. for about 10 times and every time, it would fail. So we decided to adopt two kids, Gavin and Bella. They were pretty young and didn’t – and still don’t – remember the orphanage where we ‘rescued’ them from. Within two years, your mother got pregnant. She was so happy but I hated it. She would constantly talk about you and it was like you were already born. Once you were born, nobody would look after Gavin and Bella. Everyday, when I came back from work. Gavin and Bella would always be playing and doing their homework without their mother. She was way to clingy with you. So finally I told her to stop. She was mad at me. Saying that you were our miracle child, after all the years we’d tried, you were finally here. I got so pissed, I told Gavin and Bella you were adopted. Your mother was in shock and to try to undo what I just did, she finally gave you space. Gavin and Bella never really understood, they only just knew that you were adopted. Your mother finally let go. And I’m-” “How could you? You monster!” He looks offended and sad. I almost feel bad, but he never felt bad when I was being bullied by my own siblings, well adopted-siblings. “Y-y-you..” I stop. After all these years I’ve thought of being the different one, they were different. They were the ones who aren’t real blood-related family. I cry and I feel a hand clasp on my shoulder.

“I’m so so sorry,” his hands trembling to the beat of his tears.